Saturday, February 1, 2014

The End of an Era

(An Open Letter Regarding My 20’s)

I suppose it is difficult to believe that in less than 24 hours I will bid farewell to my twenties.  Standing on the far-edge of this decade, I’m inclined to reminisce of yesteryear.  My twenties.  I can scarcely remember my twentieth birthday, but can recall rejoicing the end of my teen era.  It must have been a bittersweet twentieth birthday for I so loved my teen years.  The four short years of high school were some of the most enjoyable and busy times of my life.  Even so, I know I must have looked forward to a new beginning in a new decade. 

By the time I was twenty, I would have been in my second year of college.  Three very fast years later, I would graduate the University of Oregon with my Master’s degree in Education.  Most of my memories from those five years are closely related to the roommates, and friendships, I had.  I will never forget moving into my first apartment with my best friend, Kristen.  We had many a trial in Blackstone Manor, which we affectionately dubbed “Crackstone.”  I fondly remember Kristen remarking at one point, “Where do they get off calling this place a manor?!”  From the closets that reeked of marijuana, to our neighbors “Blaze,” and Chris, and their awful, loud music, the endless stash of cookie dough that lived in our fridge, stir-fry night after night, and half gallons of HRD vodka mixed with frozen orange juice concentrate.  Never again will I be able to delight in a “screwdriver.”  No memory of Crackstone is complete without including the drunken person who crashed through my window in the early hours of the morning, or Brian, the twenty-two year old apartment “manager,” who was only interested in living rent-free.  The stories could go on and on, but like the stories, Kristen and I, too, eventually moved on.  We left Crackstone in search of a bigger piece of real estate in which we could settle with our other friends Kristina, and Krista.  The obvious joke here was that I could only enjoy others’ company if their name started with a K.  I always felt like the odd one out on our landline answering machine, “Hello, you’ve reached the home of Kristen, Krista, Kristina and Judy…”  Living with four girls was a special kind of experience.  Looking back now, I can laugh at all of the silly squabbles and petty tiffs that we had.  Mostly, I will remember how impossible it was to heat that house.  The heating cost was too great, even split between the four of us, and so we mostly spent our time huddled in our beds, in sweats and slippers.  I believe I even went so far as to buy footie pajamas one year!  It was in this house, that I learned to fall asleep to my sweet friend, Kristina talking to her mom on the phone every night at nine o’clock.  It’s amazing that we lived in that house for two years and still remain friends to this day.  Kristen and I returned to apartment living again after that.  We moved into 19th and Cool and resided there for Kristen’s final year at UO, and my penultimate year.  This living arrangement seems to have fewer stories, as Kristen was gone much of the time, and I must have been sleeping.  Once Kristen moved out, my college friend Erin moved in.  Here we devoted our nights to Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, heating pads, and Totino’s pizzas.  Yes, we were accused of acting like sixty-year olds on more than one occasion…not that there’s anything wrong with that!  This July, I will serve as Erin’s maid of honor, and am so thrilled to stand beside her on her special day.  Since living with her, I truly understand just how important her wedding day will be to her.  She has wanted it for oh, so, long.  It was during this time, as well, that I met three folks from Maryland and embarked on a cross-country trip with two of them.  That trip was certainly one for the memory books.  In fact, that entire summer was something worth remembering.  It was the first time I had floated the river in Eugene, and lo and behold, we floated the wrong direction.  Perhaps, the wrong direction is slightly inaccurate.  The mix-up occurred in where we put our tubes in the water, and where we got out.  Suffice it to say, we got out of the river probably 10 miles down river from where we put our tubes in.  Oops! 
After I graduated with my Master’s degree, I fell into a bit of a slump.  My parents graciously allowed me to move home while I searched for employment.  I had job interviews here and there, but nothing really took.  The rejection calls kept coming.  This was extremely challenging for me to handle and I sunk into a very dark place.  It turns out, I don’t do well with rejection.  If there had been any question, after numerous heart breaks in my early twenties, it was solidified the summer of my twenty-third year.  The dark place swallowed me up whole, rendering me paralyzed in bed for days at a time, erupting into tears at random times, and having no appetite or will to want to care for myself.  Thank God my parents had the wherewithal to get me to our family physician.  I basically fought every urge to resist their demands for me to go to the doctor.  I knew I was having problems.  But, knowing you’re having problems and admitting that to a doctor, let alone the outside world, was something else entirely.  I didn’t much want my family to know I was having these problems, much less a doctor!  In a word, the doctor’s answer: anti-depressant.  You probably saw that one coming!  The signs and symptoms were obvious.  It felt like overnight the medication started kicking in, and slowly, and steadily, I climbed out of the darkness.  I spent the year substitute teaching, which looking back, was a great gig!  By the end of the year, I had found gainful employment back in Eugene, where I wanted to be, and under doctor’s supervision, took myself off of medication.  That was a difficult year, but I’m so thankful to have had my family to get me through it.  Still, to think of that year, even now, can make me emotional. 

Back in Eugene, I got myself a cute little two bedroom apartment and started work at The Child Center.  Now, here was a teaching job I had never envisioned.  After the first week, I thought, “What have I gotten myself into?”  But, I still have that thought, in my current position, so perhaps it had less to do with The Child Center and more to do with my thought processes.  The thing that I loved about The Child Center was my supervisor.  She was incredible at her job.  She was the most supportive, reasonable, caring, thoughtful, understanding, intelligent, funny, supervisor I have had to date.  She truly was amazing at her job.  Once I stabilized myself in this classroom, I felt like I could handle any kid, and any teaching job, there could possibly be.  The difficulty with working at The Child Center was that there was never any break.  We worked all year long.  Those were some very long years.  During my last two years with The Child Center, budget cuts forced teachers out of the classroom during summer months.  I had never been happier.  Of course, because I also did not make a legitimate wage while working for The Child Center, I had to find alternate employment in the summers.  This is where I ended up working with an agency out of Portland, teaching Chinese exchange students three weeks out of the summer.  The first summer doing this, I practically ended up coordinating, and planning the program, delivering instruction, and being the contact person for parents.  I had no clue what I was doing, or why I was in charge of quite literally…everything.  I cannot forget that I also housed an exchange student and a chaperone for two weeks, as well.  I’m not entirely sure how I did it.  I just remember laughing about every single little thing.  That program was unbelievable and the hits just kept on a’comin! Now, that was an emotionally draining summer! 

My late twenties brought about the passing of two of my uncles, and what seemed like an endless series of heartbreaks.  I lost one uncle on my mom’s side and one on my dad’s side.  The passing of my uncle on my father’s side hit me pretty hard.  I can make some theories as to why this is, but that is neither here nor there.  Let it be said that that was a challenging period that brought many things into question for me.  The result of my questioning lead my cousin, Jason and I, to go on a two week trip to Costa Rica.  We visited eight, or nine, different cities and traveled from the west coast to the east coast.  This trip was amazing.  It left me wanting to travel more and more.  Still, when I think of it, I have a desire to go back…or, to go somewhere!   Then, there was the trail of tears after one “boy” to the next.  It felt like I was trapped in some version of a sick, twisted middle school torture series.  To protect the names of the not-so-innocent, I’ll resort to using first initials.  First there was, K1.  Let’s face it, he was quite a scoundrel.  I’m not sure we ever really had much of a chance at building anything worth building.  Perhaps he saw that and let me go.  I’ve heard that he has been arrested a couple of times in the last couple of years, so, for him to have walked out of my life, I thank him.  Let us all take a moment to remember V.  What a train wreck that whole situation was.  I always recollect him at this time of year.  After all, that birthday present from 4 years ago is bound to show up one of these days, right!?   According to him, yes.  FedEx has it on it’s way.  Insert eye roll here*  Then, there was J1, and while a lovely man, very thoughtful, and an excellent listener, he still broke my heart to little bits and pieces.  I hear, and see, through his mother’s facebook page that he is doing well.  Then, the next major one was K2. (Ha, look at the irony of that name and situation!)  A reconnection with him sparked a hopefulness in me that had long been dead. But, actually, nothing there worked out either, except for one delightfully blissful weekend in December.  Lastly, J2.  I’m not even sure what to say about him.  I didn’t really know him, and I think, now, that he might have mental capabilities may be compromised?  It’s been a long, and arduous, journey down the love lane.  I am pleased to say that I am leaving my twenties with a new man, who has seen me through a lot of this past year of twenty-something.  I hope he’ll choose to stay awhile. 

Last summer was an especially exciting one, as I finally landed a job in general education teaching language arts.  I have long wanted a language arts teaching position, and finally, with perfect timing, I got it.  Somedays I still can’t believe that I am doing the thing I love doing everyday.  I love the people I get to work with, I love the kids (most of them), and feel like I’m getting more adept at what I’m doing everyday.  The late part of twenty-nine has finally given me some hope.  I’m hopeful about what the future may have in store for me.  I’m hopeful for new things to come.  I’m hopeful for new adventures.  I’m open-minded, and ready, for what life has in store.  It feels like the last decade, or so, has prepared me well.  With the highs, and lows, good times, and bad, I have learned much.  I’m packing up my knowledge and taking it with me as I jump-off into my thirties.  For all that I’ve learned, I’m not actually too sad to leave my twenties behind.  In fact, I don’t think I’m sad at all.  Hey, twenty-something, don’t let the door hit ya on your way out.

Twenty Things I Loved About My Turbulent Twenties
     Drinking alcohol legally
   Graduating with my Bachelor, and Master’s, degrees
   Rooming with Kristen, Krista, Kristina
 Rooming with Erin
 Cross Country Road Trip to Maryland
Costa Rica with Jason!
Getting a job
 Getting a better job
 Learning about Chinese culture through my summer job
Meeting Maria (supervisor at TCC)
     Experience in managing behaviors from The Child Center
     Responsibly maintaining my first, and only, credit card
    Numerous weddings of friends, and family
    The birth of my third nephew, Jacoby
    Identifying my own skin cancerous lesion, thanks to Kris Anderson’s high school health class
     New friends I made at college, or in the workplace
     Starting my Oscar party tradition
     My sister moving closer, so we can see each other more often.
    Discovering chicken schwarma, dolmas, and falafel 
       Participating in my first half-marathon

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