Happy Fat Tuesday everyone! Tomorrow begins the Lenten season. I found it appropriate to write and commemorate the occasion on my highly religious blogging site that I have here. It wouldn't be right to leave it out.
Some of you may recall that last year I set a slew of New Year's Resolutions. I mean, a slew. I think it's because a very brilliant friend of mine once told me, instead of waiting for the perfect person to come into your life, why don't you work on being the perfect person? This wasn't actually a direct suggestion towards myself...as an aquarius, I would have been left befuddled and confused. But, aren't I already a perfect person? I suspect that is up for debate. I did fairly well on last year's New Year's resolutions and felt that I was on a really good path....and then....somewhere along the way...I got really lost.
I'm not sure how it happened, or when. But, I do know that I lost track of really important things. I got caught up in things that just didn't feel good and I spent way too long in messes I had no business being in in the first place. I forgot how to be kind to myself. I forgot how to believe in the good things in life. I put distance between myself and important people in my life. Then, I just sort of started to become numb. And, you know, those times when you'll fight stupid fights with people, just so you can feel something...because anything is better than feeling nothing. Guilty! That's not the girl I am, or had ever been, but that's been the state of affairs for much of the past year. That is about to change. It's time for this chick to get back on her sassy horse and go to town!
Lent really couldn't have come at a better time for me this year. I have a hard time writing on such a public forum about anything too personal, i.e, dating, etc. because I'm terrified that *He (He being any guy that I'm interested in, or have ever been interested in that might have actually been interested in me too) might read it somehow, someday. But, I'm at the point where caution is being thrown to the wind, because it's time my mental health takes precedence (gasp!) and writing is my therapy. So, after an incredible weekend in S.F. (you may recall the blog about that trip) I experienced an incredible high. Something that I hadn't felt in a very, very, very long time. It was an awakening of sorts and I have constantly been craving that same sort of happiness since then. I've always been a strong advocate of finding your own happiness, and not letting others dictate that (my friends can attest to this one!) and I completely forgot what I was doing when I was in *his* presence. Consequently, I have had some big time struggles trying to find this level of happiness, but that is what I am devoting this Lenten season to. I need to clear out the clutter, get back to basics, hm, let's see what other cliches I can throw in here....bust this funk, okay, I made that one up totally. But, the point is, I have some major changes to make and I need some quiet to do it in. I cannot think with all of this modern day technology, so bye bye Facebook. I cannot think when my body is not healthy so hello gym time! These are but two of the changes that I will be making during this season. I'm hoping and trusting that through some quiet reflection, meditation, yoga, and drawing closer with the things that are important to me God, family, friends, career, that I'll once again be able to get myself aligned enough to find that happiness I'm longing for.
So come along, and join me on my journey through Lent...here, here, here we go!
Today's list: Step 1 of my journey...
1. Just be.
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